Saturday, July 20, 2019

It's Been a While...and I Sure Miss Her.......

Sharon Louise(Brouse) Wuthrich 1942 - 2016


   I sit here writing this with tears welling in my eyes. The last 4 years have been challenging to say the least.

This is the first time I have even have touched this Blog or updated my website in nearly three years. As you can see by the last two entries, a LOT has taken place.

Much has affected me and I am not the same person I was...

Losing my Mother has been the BIGGEST blow to my psyche... it's probably been even worse than the ability to not have children and that was pretty bad .

This feels as as if someone cut both my dominant limbs and I'm having phantom pains at any given moment. I fall down at times and feel unbalanced without her.

I can't even begin to describe the bond we had any better than being 'two peas in a pod'.

She used to refer to us as 'Lucy and Ethel' and I was Lucy even though SHE was the redhead! I was the one that always did the dumb stuff!We went everywhere together and did everything. She was my BEST FRIEND and I feel so incredibly LOST without her...

One of my fondest memories I have of us was probably sometime around 2009(?), we were at the Syracuse art festival for the second year and had JUST set the tent up. We had not yet put the art out because it looked like it was about to storm...I told Mom there was NO WAY we were riding out a monsoon...well it LET LOOSE! We got SOAKED taking the tent down in the pouring rain! We looked like a couple wet rats!!! LOL!!! We packed the truck up and chuckled about the lady who was going around trying to make everyone stay...NOPE NOPE NOPE!!!  We had the BEST time that day despite getting SOAKED!! We laughed and giggled at me trying to shift the gears in Dads truck. She was to SHORT to reach the clutch and I remember telling to the shut it when I would grind the gears! LOL! She would laugh! We went to all these little shops on our way home. That's the day I saw the idea for the floor I put in my studio.          It was a really GREAT day, one that makes me smile!! :)

Here is the picture of Mommy that day... her smile is making me smile so bright and miss her so much right now! 

That's how it always was with her. This was/is my Mother...

She was a no nonsense, fiery redhead. She DIDN'T take NO for an answer. She DID NOT like being told what to do. If you told her she could NOT do something she SHOWED YOU she could. If she wanted something done, she DID IT herself. She was a TIRELESS worker. She LOVED to cook. She LOVED her beer. She was MOUTHY. She was a FANTASTIC and AVID gardener whose home and garden was featured in Midwest Living once.

She loved ALL animals and could talk to them and they KNEW she meant no harm, they would come to her. She had pet deer named Sugar. She fed the chipmunks peanuts. She loved to feed the birds and could feed them out of her hand. She had a fascination for hummingbirds and had feeders everywhere. She had collections of everything...and when we were kids we broke this one particular figures head like 10 times and glued it back together. I am not sure she ever knew EXACTLY how many times we broke it broke thank GOD for Elmers! 

We all took care of her during her illness. It was a difficult time but I would do it all over again..

I remember when we were teens she went through this depression time and she used to say that she just KNEW she would die of cancer...she just knew it. We all told her she was crazy...

But that's the thing about Mom...she always had this 'third eye' kind of sense...and it's weird because me, Mom and my brother always seem to possess this odd kind of way of communicating...it's like we just know what each other is/was thinking without even talking....like mind reading. We could finish each other sentences. It's the same with future thought ...maybe I'm just rambling...

Maybe she knew....and maybe it was fluke...but she knew...

At the end, she just wanted to make sure we were all OK....

My favorite memory of that end time was lying next to her tiny body on her bed, watching Little House on The Prairie. This was 10 days before she passed away.  She was barely eating anything then and she had asked for a Popsicle.  I was SO EXCITED that she wanted a Popsicle!!! She ate hers and I ate mine while we both watched TV.                                                                                                                                        Out of the corner of my eye,  I saw she was staring at me so I turned and asked 'What?'

She replied "I just want to make sure you are OK?" however it was the LOOK in her eyes that said it all....what she was really asking was...'are you going to be OK when I am gone? 


  

Mommy, I am still figuring that all out...

I am working on it. It's a work in progress however you should be very proud of the studio I built and named after you. At least you got to see her shell just before you left us. You'll  be happy to know the hummingbirds, butterflies and bees love ALL the flowers I have surrounded her with. Molly comes out with me EVERY single time and hangs with me to paint. The raccoons and groundhogs absolutely adore my red raspberries and I think you even sent me a special chipmunk to pester me because you KNOW how very much I LOVE them... NOT!! This one was kinda cute though and TOTALLY not afraid of me AT ALL. Sat right next to me chattering away and just eating the raspberry seeds. I even fed him for you. YOU sent him, I JUST KNOW you sent him to pester me! LOL!!!!                                         

                                   A studio named 'Sharon'                                                          
     

     I think you would have liked this place Momma...and when I have coffee out on the patio, or a beer out in the studio...which I admit, has not been that often lately as I am still trying to find my way back to painting but it's coming....

New things are being finished SLOWLY...been very stressed as of late but I am working to remedy that and hopefully my productivity in the studio will have me painting again...something has to give...


So with that...I am off to 'Sharon' to try and create some things....

Be kind, be calm, be nice.....

Have a great day!

Kathy