Saturday, October 17, 2015

Onward, Upward and the Growth in Between

...Life is a Challenge...

'Finding Balance', 11"x14", oil on wood panel, 2015
   Just completed my most recent painting last week, 'Finding Balance'. This particular painting has a lot of personal meaning for me. I chose the subject and each object carefully in order to tell a story. It's subtle, but not to me....so here is the story.

This past year has been most difficult with my Mother being diagnosed with advanced cancer, having surgery, chemotherapy treatment and a suffering a setback or two. It's been a true test of faith and resolve. I'll admit I have fallen apart a few times and lashed out when I shouldn't have.
I've become more remote and quiet at times and have also dissolved in tears numerous times. I have changed.  I 'see' things differently. I am not the same...
It's been a challenge to find the perfect balance between the bitter and the sweet.

When I was trying to come up with ideas for a new painting, I started thinking about all these things and decided to paint one of my favorite foods (pie, I LOVE to bake pie) as a way to illustrate this need for balance. I came up with lemons and sugar...so lemon meringue it was! I wanted to add a scale to represent balance. I even set up the composition in a way that I normally would not. I made the subject centered and put objects on either side to 'balance it'. If you look close, you will find the 'symbol' for balance buried centrally.
I generally try to stick with only 3 objects and follow the 'rule of thirds' for my compositions however I purposefully broke that rule on this one for obvious reason...it works.

It was a challenging painting. I tried some new techniques and made up others. I admit, I completely SUCK at text and wish I knew a way to make it easier (without cheating) but....I don't so I'll keep practicing. I guess I am a glutton for punishment in that way.
All in all, I am quite pleased with how the painting turned out....
I am also at the point of where I really don't care if others like it or not because the point is, I have to paint what's important to me and NOT chase what I think the public might like or what might 'sell'.... I guess I am finally finding some balance in that regard.


...New Challenges, Same Theme...

Sneak peek....photo ref for next painting.





So to go along with the same theme as my last painting...a sort of 'soul purge' if you will... I decided to describe another theme regarding stress and how we cope with it when it happens. I'm not talking about your average 'run of the mill', every day stress...I'm talking life altering, catastrophic stress....like the kind that makes you feel that you can't handle it. What do you do? What can you do?
In all honestly, to say I bucked up and took it is a lie....  I self medicated some....I drank a few too many cocktails(3 is too many IMO) so I made an appointment with my doctor to discuss the stress load. She offered me RX meds but I shied away preferring to try natural alternatives first. I hid from people, became more anxious, I stopped taking care of myself as much, I got angry and I slept erratically...but then one day I woke up and said this just isn't healthy or helpful so I decided I needed to paint what I felt. I decided to take my life back again.
So my next painting will be title 'When it Rain's' which is symbolic for "when it rains, it pours".
I now have another dear family diagnosed with cancer so now it's two people close to me and I have had some challenges dealing with that. I've had to set some literal emotional and physical boundaries. I determined what I needed to worry about and what I need to let go of or give up to everyone else to worry about.
Per my nature, I take on more than I can physically or emotionally handle (because I can't say no easily) but I've determined that this is no longer healthy or beneficial for me.
I've decided to paint my way out and to document that in my own way, to paint what I feel. It may not be what goes with someones couch but THAT ISN'T ART!!! Art has soul and deep meaning... if someone likes it...then I win.....

So the image above is a small snippet of the reference image I photographed for the painting. You will have to wait and see but I think you will be impressed...

...HAIR...


First haircut post chemo!



So Mommy got her first haircut on Monday!! The back was so wavy(her hair was always straight before chemo) and shaggy that she couldn't stand it any longer! She called her beautician, Stacy,  and had her very first haircut since February!!!
I can't believe how wavy her new hair is! It's darker too! Her hair was always fine and straight before. She was almost strawberry blonde (but when I was a kid she was a bright red head) in that it had so much white in it however now it's darker and curly! She was so happy after her haircut she decided to go shopping so she drove over to see if I wanted to go thrift shopping with her at our favorite place. I at first ignored the doorbell as I was still in my jammies and in the basement sewing. But then I ran upstairs and saw her car...so I flung the door open,  how could I say no to thrifting and spending time with my beautiful Mom? :)
You know...the one lesson that cancer has taught me is that you should take nothing for granted... you need to spend the time with your family and close friends...they are more important than any money or any 'things' you might covet....just spend that time, because it's irreplaceable....
I am doing just that.... :)


...A New Way to Help...

So lately I've been pondering whether or not it's time to seek employment. I've been feeling a little worried about how I am going to manage this or that and thinking I might have to say no to an upcoming art show if I get juried in....
I had placed a postcard I got in the mail (for a local nursing facility that was offering part time and full-time work) on my desk. It's been sitting there for about a week while I procrastinated and tried to think of other options. I decided today was the day I would check it out...I mean how bad could a few shifts a week be? Dreading it... but the thoughts were getting more appealing... Honestly, selling art, especially if you're self representing, is tedious and difficult on a good day. The time spent promoting, writing, photographing,packing/shipping, editing and publishing is time NOT spent painting but it's necessary time. Sometimes it's a no win situation and you feel like a financial failure...but I persist. I will never stop painting... OK...UNLESS I have a physical barrier(I'm here to tell you I worked on a LARGE commissioned portrait while in a rigid neck brace, post a double laminectomy for 6 weeks , just sayin...) or issue, I will PROBABLY never stop painting however I will stop self representing in the near future I hope/
That being said....I was just about to inquire about the job's outlined on the postcard when I decided to check my messages....and there IT was...a job offer that fell into my lap...a seemingly PERFECT job offer!!! 
I took it!!! I can name my own hours and work close to home...It'll be administrative clerical work essentially auditing medical charts. I was hand picked for the position and I have the BEST boss! :) She hired me on the spot when I agreed!
I'm feeling especially blessed today....sometimes...things just fall into place when they need to...
So I'll get my MP3 player ready with hours worth of melodic Opeth and TOOL to check medical charts by....I'll be in my zone and all will be right....again! :)
Today has been a GREAT day!!! :)

That's all I have...hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend!

Kath


Saturday, June 13, 2015

...The Highs, the Low's and the Sweetness of Success...

Best in Show!!



'Best In Show', Elkhart Art League's 2015 Juried Show
    I told my buyer back in May that I wanted to hang onto 'MOOooo' for just a bit longer before we make the exchange. I thought perhaps I might enter her in an upcoming show in hope that I might be able to give my collector a winning painting.
So I entered her in a regional show. It was my first time entering this particular show. What a WONDERFUL experience to say the least!!!

   I dropped off two paintings, both realism pieces but both very different in subject matter.
My thinking here was that I could cover a couple bases depending on what the judge 'might' like...one piece, 'Got Donut's?', being more contemporary and 'MOOooo' being more regional whimsy. If you won, they would call you before the show on Thursday. I didn't think I even placed this time as it was Wednesday night around 7:00pm and I hadn't received a call. I had JUST told the Hub's, "I guess I didn't win but can't win all the time..." to wit he agreed. I walked in the house and my phone rang.  I didn't recognize the number as it was showing an out of state area code. I answered and the gal on the phone asked if I was Kathy and I said I was. She then told me congratulations that I had won an award and to be at the opening reception on Thursday evening. I was stunned! I ran back outside to the patio and told the Hub's my news! He was shocked as he always is when I win.

   After driving to the show in a torrential downpour, the husband (who is never very comfortable at any of my art events) and I walked into the gallery. I always feel a bit awkward at these things (cue up that low self esteem bit here) since I spend so much of my time alone painting. I tend to keep a low profile.  'Got Donuts' was in the front window display so we knew it wasn't that one. It had to be 'MOOooo'. We quietly milled about looking for her.
We didn't see her (MOOooo) anywhere upstairs so we went to lower level. I still didn't see her. I grabbed a small glass of wine so as to not look like a complete idiot and then we headed back upstairs. I grabbed one of the show programs on the table and the Hub's grabbed one as well. I remember saying "Look, 'MOOooo" made the cover! How cool is that!?". I didn't even open the program. Then the Hub's say's 'Are you ready to be more surprised?" I looked at him and said "Why, what?" 
Then he said 'You won BEST of Show!" My reaction was my jaw about hit the floor!!!! Gobsmacked I was!!! We finally found her...right in front on the table by the door...
So Randy... I painted you an official WINNER this time.... BEST IN SHOW!!! :)

The Highs, the Low's and the Sweetness of Success

   When I talk about the highs and lows of art...they are very real. If you're not a working artist, you probably won't 'get it' unless you work a minimum wage job and three important bills just rolled in.  You know there's not enough money in your checking account to cover them all and you're still paying for that last awards trip you went on.... Depression starts to sink in....is success really worth it? And what IS success anyways? Maybe I should get a 'real' job again and be miserable like everyone else. Then you tell yourself, you know your good enough at what you do and you're passionate about it, just keep working harder...
So you juggle the bills and you work, you work a lot...and you take a few more chances and just when you think you have failed...you get recognized again!
Success is always a shock to me because I never quite feel good enough...at anything. That's just me. Low self esteem and high expectations are rarely a combination for being chipper all the time....but hey....it keeps me plodding onward and upwards.

Last week, I gave a talk at our local art museum and made a few new art friends. 
I remember standing at the podium telling the audience why I create. I compared my style of painting to climbing a mountain in that when your at the base, you can just easily plod through but once you get closer to the top, each step becomes more precise and calculated. I also mentioned that I always feel like I could do better work, I'm never quite satisfied. The feeling is like climbing a ladder that never ends, I keep wanting to get to the next rung.
I talked with confidence and passion because painting is what I know best...well besides medicine (it's nurse thing, once one, always one)...but this paint thing, is what gets me the MOST excited!!!
There was a wonderful lady in the audience who chimed that she owns one of my paintings. I remember that I took a pause and excitedly asked if she loved the painting? She exclaimed that they enjoy it so much and look at it everyday...even thinking about that comment chokes me up almost as much as it did when she said it. Those comments really do a heart good!  I can easily handle the subtle (and not so subtle) insults and slights I get from other artists (and I do get them, only two this week)  however it's the kind remarks of people who LOVE and enjoy your work that matter the most......in the end THAT is the sweetness of success and it tastes really good at this moment...


Enjoy your Saturday! :)

Kathy

Sunday, March 22, 2015

...How To Be a Successful Failure and a Really Cool Loser All At The Same Time...

Become a fine artist!!! 

Yes friends, you too can learn how to gain respect, notoriety, lots of friends all the while earning next to nothing!!!
All kidding and joking aside, it's been a challenging couple months of stress and anxiety over where am I going to find the money for this and that.....
It's been difficult trying to fight off the depression while trying to stoke my creative drive. 
My solution, hole myself up in the studio for that short dose of dopamine bliss interspersed with moments of leaky eyes and thoughts of 'why do I even try?'....

So today I am telling myself to take a huge dose of ------------------------------->
buck up and quit yer crying you big friggin baby!!!!
Crying and complaining doesn't earn praise or create progress!!
Nobody wants to hear your whining and woe is me carrying on!!
So how's my self deprecating pep talk going so far? Good, good! I'm feeling better already!

Here is what I love about people who try to cheer you up....most honestly have no experience for empathy so honestly, trying to 'discuss' things with folks who don't understand, only makes you feel even worse......so time to BUCK UP!!! And now I'm done....I feel better... I really do!  No honestly, I do because I know some artistic,  self deprecating sap might possibly read this and say YES!!!!! So there you go...I too feel what you feel...now let's paint!


...Art News...

Elkhart's Midwest Museum of American Art (photo accredited to their website)
I received an email on Friday from Brian Byrn, the museum's curator, inviting me to be one of the guest speakers at one of their signature 'Noon Time Talks',  held each Thursday afternoon over the lunch hour. It's open to the public and museum members alike. Looks like it will be sometime in the month of June.
I've been invited to speak on the art of the 'still life'. I am excited to do this! I have some non traditional methods that I think some folks will find enjoyable and educational , at least I hope so anyways.
I have a couple months to prepare something so I promise it will be worth your time to attend and participate. I will also bring some new work and a few works in progress so as to show/explain my techniques. I'll chat about how I start a project, from conception to birth, so to speak.



...In the Studio...

   Well, have been working on quite a few things lately. I have a series of smaller works that I have been doing to try and create some affordable works geared  towards average folks like me who don't have a gazillion dollars to spend on art. 
I am calling it the 'IGBTP Series'...that's an acronym(which means another term for) for 'I Got's Bill's To Pay'. It's a tongue in cheek way of saying, yea, I still have to pay for the water bill, phone bill, gas for my car, deodorant, soap, etc....and I have to sell art to do it! ;)
Seriously...it's good work for a fair price....because after all, when I am famous, cold and dead...some unsuspecting person is going to make BANK!!! I'm just sayin!!!
So here are the small painting's I created for the IGBTP Series (and I have sold a couple so you better snatch them up while you can).



All of the paintings shown above are all 3" x 3" except for the last one, 'The Boats en Miniature', it is 7.5" x 5". Out of this group, 'My Rose', 'Tea Time' and 'Sushi Anyone?' have all been sold. The rest are available on my Etsy page.


...Works In Progress...

I actually have a few things near completion and one that are in full mid-progress mode at the moment. I feel like I am creating some of my best work at the moment. I have some great ideas in my head for some upcoming still life's I'll be putting together. Anyways enough talking...here is what I have going.... 

This is what I am currently in the middle of right now. It's pretty good sized too.   I actually have it quite a bit further along that what is shown here but I didn't see the point in boring anyone with more unfinished photos. Right now I have pretty well defined and shaped all the grains of rice, knocked them back with tonal grays, started bringing forward some highlights, amping up some colors and knocking others back.
I am also almost done with 'MOoo' here. I still have more work to do on the leaves in the background. I have started softening the lower branches and the treeline in the far back. Need to add a bit of soft opaque color to heighten the illusion of atmospheric distance. The cow is pretty much done save for a few small tweaks here and there. I might heighten the value in her eye to give it a a more wet, reflective quality.
I finally finished 'Smartie Smartie'. I have already given it a coat of intermediate varnish and have been letting it dry enough to give a final coat. This photo was taken pre-varnish so the colors are a bit sunken and flat. Let me tell you, this thing POPPED with vibrancy right when I applied the retouch varnish! WOW does it look good! I did take a photo but I had to take it at such an angle to reduce the glare. It was still hard to get it to accurately portray the depth. So once it's dry enough to take a better photo, I'll post it up.  I am actually VERY proud and happy with this painting. My husband hates it but his opinion really doesn't count anymore IMO... ;)  (I've stopped showing him what I'm working on so as not to get depressed)


...Cool Stuff Not Art Related...


Oh yea baby!!!! Garden 2015 has begun!!!! I even dug the snow off the garden 2 weekends ago and put up my cold frame!! I already have kale, spinach and tomatoes sprouted...soon it will be time to transplant the kales and the spinach into the cold frame so that I get a great harvest this year.
This year's tomatoes are 'BlackSea Man', a Russian heirloom variety(medium large beefsteak type) that is purplish-green when fully ripe. These are the BEST tasting tomatoes I have ever eaten in my life...swear to GERD!!! This will make the third year in a row that I have grown them. I also planted a new heirloom paste tomato. This is the first year I have grown the 'Sheboygan' variety, which also happens to be a Russian strain. I'm looking forward to seeing how this one does. I kind of like the Russian strains because they tend to be more cold tolerant. Our last two summers have been craptasticly cooler so that's why I'm leaning towards those strains.
As far as what hot peppers I am growing, or trying to grow, this year: Mucho Nacho jalapenos(hybrid), Trindad Scorpian peppers, Bhut Jalokia(Ghost) peppers and Medusa (ornamental/edible hybrid). (I decided not to grow a schitload of peppers this years for a change)
I also have a bunch of other stuff like squashes, greens, beans, cukes, rhubarb...but those don't count as much as the tomatoes and peppers do!!!

Oh and this epic tidbit!!! FINALLY going to go see Primus in concert after all these years of being a devoted fan!!!! Can't wait to see Les Claypool and the rest of the freaks at the State Theater in Kazoo on April 11th for the 'Primus and The Chocolate Factory Tour'!!!!!! Going with my brother Tim and my nephew Bill....should be a GREAT time!!!! :D


OK, so yea....I'm about tired of writing now! My work this weekend updating the blog and completely rebuilding my website is now done, thank GOODNESS!!
I think I want to drink a beer now, turn on a movie and relax....been a busy weekend filled with computer work.... 
Now I need to chill and gear up for how much fun painting that sushi is going to be tomorrow because THAT will be the most favorite part of my day tomorrow...good coffee, good music, no distractions and paint, glorious paint!!! :)

Have a great weekend and thanks for reading...

Kath

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

I'm Settling In and Buckling Down...

   Many of my friends know that this past five months have been very emotionally taxing on my family. Our matriarch, my Mother, was diagnosed with cancer.
There are things that just come completely out of no where and hit you full-on on like a truck. This was one of those things... It was due to this that I let my painting take a back seat and I have not been as creative in the last several months.
Christmas 2015: Me, Mom and my brother photo-bombing.
    It's been very stressful on everyone in our family. The world was turned upside down for a while...but now things are getting back to a new normal.
It's been a huge time of adjustment, introspection and discovering what matters the most.
Since I'm a nurse by trade, I have been trying to be her advocate and have accompanied her to all doctors visits, tests, etc... My folks don't have the best understanding of body process's, general health and physiology so I have been trying to be the bridge. That has been quite stressful. The biggest stressor, for all of us, was just not having any control.
So, we all had to learn to accept what was going on and do what the good doctors planned. She has THE BEST doctor taking care of her! We are all so very pleased with Dr. Method!

Mom's recovery has not been 'uneventful', to say the least, HOWEVER I'm happy to admit that she is doing quite well in treatment and her health is improving!!!!
She has lost most of her hair and what's left is pure white so now she looks like a fuzzy little pinky mouse now! She is taking it in stride and has a great sense of humor about the whole thing! She is WINNING!!!!! We are all so, very, very proud of her and we love her so much!
I have been crocheting chemo caps for her. It's kind of been fun and a nice way to keep me occupied in the evenings. She really likes the ones I have made.
All the prayers and support of friends has been very helpful and she appreciates it more than anyone knows.



...MOOooving Along...

Since Mom's health has improved and she now knows what to expect with her treatment, I have resumed painting and being creative. Life has begun to get back to normal...thankfully! I feel like I can breathe again and it feels great!
So in the last few weeks I have started a couple fun paintings. 
I am painting a collection of whimsical, fun paintings to sell basically at fairly inexpensive prices. I am calling these paintings my 'IGBTP Series'. That's an acronym for 'I Got's Bills To Pay'. :)
Seriously....if I don't paint, I don't have money and if I don't earn money, I can't pay my bills and I got's bill's to pay! :)
   


 This is one little gem I just recently sold. It's one of my miniature paintings. This is 3"x3" oil on canvas wrapped board. It is HIGHLY detailed!
I purchased a stock open back frame. 
I constructed a wood liner and finished it in a complimentary creamy color.
The back mounting board was also cut and hand finished in a complimentary color and pattern. I painted an antique gold filigree pattern over the chocolate brown background. It matches the frame detail extremely well. I thought it added an overall nice bit of class and whimsy to the piece.
The antiqued bronze label holder also added a nice touch. The back was then painted antique gold and affixed with my authenticity certificate.

Here is another I just recently started I am calling this one 'MOooo'.  This one is so FUN!!!
I absolutely LOVE cows!!! This happy and curious gal was one I had photographed last summer on our local bike trail. I went up and visited her while I snapped a few pics. 
She is now being painted. Here is where I am at so far.
 Yesterday I started doing the detail glazing to amp up the color and overall tighten things up. I always work loose to tight and flat to bright.

I just love how this is coming together. After I am done writing up this blog installment, I might head down to the studio to paint for the day. ...but it depends on what time it is since I generally leave the studio by 2:00- 2:30pm. I try and leave when my neighbors come home.


 This is one I had started working on last fall 'Smartie Smartie'.  11"x14" acrylic/oil on canvas/wood panel. I started it sometime before Mom was diagnosed and I put it on hold for a while until she improved.
I finally finished it at the end of January 2015. This took a great deal of time to complete. It is quite dynamic and detailed.
This painting is NOT in my IGBTP series as it is waaaaay too detailed.
This painting will be a juried show/gallery painting. I have recently given it the first coat of intermediate varnish and I must say, it just POPPED with intensity and color! I am very, VERY proud of this one!!!







Now this little painting is one I started a couple weeks ago. I drew this on the same day I sketched up MOoooo.  Went to meet my friend Cindy over at the Painters Guild and I didn't have anything to paint so I decided just to start drawing up a few new ones. So that's what I did the day I was at the Guild. I used a grid method. Nothing is square or exact and it honestly doesn't have to be because it's a painting. :)

This is fairly small but not micro small like the 'Tea for One' painting.
This is 'The Boat's en Miniature'.  It is 7.5"x 5", oil on canvas and wood panel.
I do make almost all my own panels and I have taken a liking to affixing canvas to wood boards I cut. Then I gesso and sand. It's a fun process that I actually get quite a bit of satisfaction out of.
I save all my wood panel scraps and I make smaller boards like this.
I did paint a larger version(18" x 24", I think) of this particular painting a few years back. It resides in a lake cottage somewhere near Howe, IN.
So I decided to paint a mini version for the IGBTP Series. I finished this yesterday. For something small and quick, I think it turned out rather nice.
I will be offering this one up for sale very soon at a very affordable price! Thats the whole point of the IGBTP Series, it's original art most people can afford. The way I achieve this is by working smaller and quickly like with this painting. I am price pointing all paintings to be $150.00 or less. I set the price by taking into account level of detail, whether it's framed, unframed. This one will be sold unframed for $125.00. If anyone is interested,
message me.

Oh....have also decide that I am going to place 'A Mighty Cock' up for sale as well and I will offer it at a bargain price of $200.00 plus shipping. Size is 11"x 14" oil on wood panel.
Reason I am selling it at this price is because I lost my love affair with the subject matter about 3/4 of the way through. I will not enter this in any shows so I've decided to just move it.                                                                                                                    
'A Mighty Cock', 11"x 14", oil on wood panel, 2014.


Everyone who has seen it
just LOVES it but to me...it's just 'OK'.
  However that doesn't mean I will sell it at Walmart pricing. The price remains at $200.00 (plus shipping) FIRM.
If anyone is interested in owning this, send me a message and let me know.

 

 

 

 

...Entering Shows and keeping a low profile...

      I have decided to really buckle down, paint as much as possible and start entering more shows. I have a goal of getting a couple more national shows under my belt and on my resume. Once I complete that, I will start seeking gallery representation.
I finally sat down a few months back and wrote my first artists resume. I needed one for the last juried show. I was honestly quite surprised how well padded my artists resume had become.  I guess I hadn't realized how long I've been at this! 

   As part of my new schedule, I've decided to curtail my activities on social media and maintain a low profile. I'll still have a presence, I just won't be on it nearly as much. 
I do have a lot of friends and I found myself spending WAY too much time seeing what everyone is up and wasting time.  
I was also allowing myself to get annoyed at the bold audacity of some people who become keyboard commandos once you put a keyboard in front of them. 
I was so upset by something one of my 'friends' posted about racism the other day that I had an awakening. If seeing the flippant words of a hypocrite on a computer screen can annoy me so much, then I need to change my focus and take a step back. I just need to change my reaction, eliminate some people from my life and walk away. So that's what I am doing. 
I will focus my time on creating art, working towards my goals, marketing my art, spending quality time with my family and earning a living.
 The ignorance of others really has no place of value in my life so I'm going to focus my time more on whats important and less on what doesn't matter...



With that....I think it's time to go work out, get some laundry started, and do some work around the house.
I hope you all have a great day! :)

Kathy